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Joke of the Day

"[sees girl reading The Bible] ""Ah I love that book. The way they just *clenches fist* buy all those frickin bulls."""

"A boy walks into a butchers and asks for a pound of kidelies Do you mean kidneys? asks the butcher. boy: I said that didelie?"

"Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin... It might taste the same but that shit just ain't right."

"The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed...... unless it meets Chuck Norris."

"What breaks when you give it to a six year old? His hips"

"[Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved"

"What sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom."

"Why are bats blind? Well your eyesight wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all day would it?"

"Knock-knock ""Knock-knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Control freak--now you say, 'Control freak who?'"""

"Sad to say that Gregg Jevin, a man I just made up, has died. #RIPGreggJevin"