177363

Joke of the Day

"John Travolta looks like the type of guy that would leave his toupee in a truck stop urinal for hours and then wear it to a musical."

"What does a leper say to a prostitute? Just leave it...ill be back tomorrow."

"What kind of dance does your mother do? The MOMbo."

"Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch ? So he could bring his 'sub' on"

"My whole life feels like when you're called up to the chalkboard to solve a math problem."

"Miss Piggy was arrested for smoking weed. When the cops asked her what she was thinking she replied, ""Kermit said he wanted baked ham for Christmas."""

"My wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with Football Manager. In my defence, I've got Dani Alves, Kompany, Vidic and Lahm."

"My son failed gym. But he unlocked every achievement on Left 4 Dead so it's a wash."

"The pimp hand... Strong enough for a man, made for a woman."

"I have a phobia of German sausages... I fear the Wurst."