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Joke of the Day

"My cat passed. RIP Fluffy McMittens 2002-2003 2003-2005 2005-2007 2007-2008 2008-2011 2011-2013 2013-2014 2014-2015 2015-2016"

"Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop."

"My physics teacher told me I had a lot of potential... Then he pushed me off the roof"

"A guy walks into a bar... And says, ""Ow."""

"How can you tell if you at the gay BBQ?!? Its when all the Hot Dogs smell like shit!!!"

"replace the chair in the Oval Office w/slightly bigger chair every day for next 4 yrs til trump looks tiny + his feet don't touch the ground"

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme!"

"Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar."

"Ever tried anal sex? Its fucking shit."

"What do you call a fashionable Japanese warrior? Glamurai"