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Joke of the Day
"What was Dodi Fayed's favorite state? In Diana"
Next Joke
"Capture a raccoon & an octopus. Sit them on the couch. Give them snacks. Sit between them. Turn on the TV. Now you're ready to have kids."
"Me: Hi. Can I help you? Him: I'm here about the wanted ad for the one night stand Me: Great. Where is it? Him: What? Me: The nightstand."
"How to make a girl furious in 2 steps... Step 1, take a picture of her Step 2, don't show it to her"
"Why did the blonde call an exterminator? Her computer had a bug..."
"[at ultrasound] Nurse: there it is. There's your baby Me visibly relieved: oh Jesus thank u Wife whispering to nurse: he thought it was bees"
"If you've ever accidentally stepped on a cat's tail, you've seen my wife's sex face."
"You know that pestering someone because the don't watch the same TV shows as you isn't a personality, right?"
"Guy walks into a bakery and sees a green loaf of bread and asks the baker how he made it Baker says ""Avocadough"""
"I hate when people inbox me to tell me how funny my status es are... Motherf*cker there is a ""like"" button for a reason!"