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Joke of the Day

"When you first meet a potential partner, slap them in the face. That way, later on in the relationship they cant say, 'you don't treat me like you used too!'"

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"A love letter to my iPhone The apple of my I"
"Why didn't the girl go into the haunted house? She didn't have the balls."
"A guy says to his wife ""why don't you ever tell me when you orgasm?"" She replies, ""I don't like ringing you at work."""
"What are Mario's overalls made out of DENIM DENIM DENIM"
"On my cakeday... ... -1 2^3 and it was delicious!"
"Why are pirates so bad at telling jokes? Instead of 'knock knock', they say, 'Arrr you there?!'"
"[interview] ""Where you see yourself in 5 years?"" Doing your job. ""And me?"" Jobless and upset about the divorce ""OMG"" *runs out crying*"
"Which came first. . . social media or dumb people? AND which is worse. . . the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language?"
"""Suicide Squad"" looks like a bunch of people Avril Lavigne hangs out with."