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Joke of the Day

"cop pulls me over 2nite. comes 2 my window n asks, Cop: ""do you know y i pulled u over?"" Me: ""because Batman is catching all the criminals"""

"I went on an extreme camping trip... It was in tents."

"I get carried away sometimes... Usually because I refuse to leave."

"I'm not saying it would kill me to work out, I'm just saying my wife bought me a gym membership and doubled my life insurance..."

"The great thing about being a guy is I don't have to put on a ""face"" to go outside. All I have to do is make sure my nutsack isn't showing and I'm pretty much golden"

"How do you get Americans to care about the Sudanese genocide? Dress them up as dead lions"

"Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet."

"I sure talk a lot of crap for someone who can't spell ""Wednesday"" without having to say ""Wed-nes-day"" in my head."

"Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking? Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!"

"Why was the Sublime cover band so bad? They don't practice Santeria."