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Joke of the Day

"The birth of my own children didn't bring me half the joy many of you seem to experience when you point out my misspellings."

Next Joke
 
"Doctor: I have two pieces of bad news for you. One is that you have cancer and is going to die soon. The other is that you have Alzheimers. Patient: Oh. But at least I don't have cancer."
"Donald Trump is cancelling the Dawn Of Justice movie He's doing it since one of the main characters, Superman, is an illegal alien."
"They say you've got to spend money to make money. Feel like there's some middle step I've been missing?"
"[Knee-slappin, terrible OC] Why was the nun named ""NPN""? She was a trans-sister! *** I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke"
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"Stalk your awful ex on Twitter, Troll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll. 'Tis the season to be bitter. Troll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll."
"People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig."
"I'm 49 and my girlfriend is 5 months pregnant! What do you guys think we should do?"
"Horror Stories by R. U. Scared"