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Joke of the Day

"*reads a note sombody put on my desk* [i heard u caught a cold! i hope it FLU away!] *drops note* what.. WAT IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE"

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker? Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker."

"they say penguins mate for life, but that's bullshit cause my penguin left me first chance she had"

"What is long, pink, and drags along the ocean floor? Moby's Dick"

"It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban."

"""YOU'RE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER!"" - I yell at the McDonalds drive thru cashier after she tells me its 25 cents more for extra BBQ sauce."

"Never ever... Never trust a midget that tells you your wife's hair smells nice."

"Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument? A: Hide it in an accordion case."

"A woman is on trial For beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says,'First offender?' She says, 'No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'''"

"Hey where's Brian? ""Oh he's taking a p_ _p"" A what? ""Um dropping a d_ _c_"" Huh? ""Taking a sh_t....Uhh Cr_p!"" Oh! He's evacuating his vowels?"