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Joke of the Day

"Police chief: So what do we know about the serial killer? Detective: He's white Other detective: A muscular build Me: He kills people"

"So a man was reported as having a gun turned out to be an umbrella He was armed and while the umbrella was open rather shady"

"I joined a Cold War reenactment group. We just sit around and act nervous about the USSR."

"I'm glad Lassie wasnt my dog. I just want to watch TV, I don't want to be constantly rescuing people."

"What's the best part of two lesbians marrying? Two cooks in the house."

"Only a fraction of you will understand this*. *There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator."

"A time traveler walks into a bar... The bartender says ""we don't serve time travelers here."" The time traveler looks at the bartender and says ""it's about time!"""

"I always knew I'd end up drunk in a gutter. I just didn't expect everyone around me to keep bowling."

"To be a man is basically to watch a beautiful Rose go by and think, ""I want to fuck that in the butt"""

"I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn't hand out drugs."