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Joke of the Day

"If you #Calexit-ers think you hate Trump NOW... Just wait until you have to foot the bill for the Californian extension of The Wall."

"I wrote your name in the snow You should recognize it. It was your mom's handwriting."

"Why didn't the criminal train operator die when he got the electric chair? he was a bad conductor."

"How to make Holy Water Friend: Hey, how do you make Holy Water? Me: Uhh...Let me think... Why? Friend: You boil the hell out of it! Me: Get out."

"What are the advantages of living in Switzerland? Well the flag for one is a big plus. Badum tss."

"And God Said to John... ""Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life."" But John came fifth and he won a toaster"

"Wanna know what 1000 marbles spilling on a tile floor sounds like? Have kids."

"I basically have three hairstyles. 1. Straight 2. Wavy 3. Homeless"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beets ! Beets who ? Beets me but I just forgot the joke !"

"There was a blackout in my neighbourhood last night....... The police told us to stay inside until they caught him."