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Joke of the Day

"Q: how can you tell it is almost St. Patrick's day? A: Everyone is taking out their Paddy-o furniture."

"Just watching that movie where Julia Roberts has a lot of teeth."

"I didn't realize how religious the Japanese are. Always asking me if I have a pray station at home."

"Why did Jesus come back from the dead? Because Mary Magdalene was his Horcrux."

"These fall allergies are on me like the NYPD 'Cause I can't breathe."

"What's better than winning a Silver Medal at the Paralympics? Not being disabled."

"Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke. Joke. Jooooooooooke."

"If gingers are pale because they have no soul... Does that explain why black people have so much soul?"

"Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off."

"Rioters are like school in July. No class."