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Joke of the Day
"These fall allergies are on me like the NYPD 'Cause I can't breathe."
Next Joke
"Did you guys hear about the girl that had three vaginas? She kept getting fucked left, right and centre."
"Vending machines are so homophobic. I'm sorry my dollar is not straight enough for you."
"My dentist told me to relax, then got all judgey about me uncorking my wine in his office. He needs to make up his mind."
"How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House? All right, all right, all right.."
"Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny? He was wanted for several charges of battery"
"How do you make a redditor... Click on a post?"
"What do you call an Irishman passed out on your deck? Paddy O'Furniture"
"My Emmy party went off without a hitch despite my cat not answering me when I asked her who crocheted the dress she was wearing."
"My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I'm wondering if I should have married her instead."