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Joke of the Day

"What did the male and female skeletons do to pass the time? (NSFW) They Boned!"

"What would you name a star wars movie featuring Pluto? This is really just a bad pun, but to me those are the best kind of jokes Pluto strikes from the back and destroys Uranus."

"I don't suffer insomnia like most tweeters do. I always get a solid 7, maybe 8 minutes of sleep every night."

"Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you."

"What's the best way to dispose of bodies? Put the ashes in the donuts."

"Why would I go to a high school reunion? I have Facebook, I already know who got fat."

"If Sean Connery was in the bathroom and told someone what he was doing, it would sound like he was repeating himself. ""I'm shitting in here, pooping."""

"To a murderer, we're all jailbait."

"Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end? It was unmiscible."

"Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes? Do they think they're gonna magically start walking?"