176696

Joke of the Day

"My Lecturer asked me why i was failing my class ""Is it ignorance or apathy?"", he said. Honestly, I don't know and I don't care."

"[i fall down the stairs & break my back] Me: Siri, call me 911 Siri: okay.. I will call you 911 from now on Me: haha nice Siri: thanks 911"

"Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00"

"When people say things like ""You can't change the past"" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind."

"""What were you before you came to school boys and girls?"" asked the teacher hoping that someone would say ""babies."" She was disappointed when all the children cried out ""Happy!"""

"A moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic, trying to get to the gym, to ride stationary bikes..."

"What do you call a Black Abortion Clinic? Crime Stoppers. I'm going to hell"

"Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts? Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive ""rincoln towncah""."

"I think deja vu is bullshit and this isn't the first time I've thought that."

"You know you have an awesome bra... when you can do the entire Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' song.... with just a slight adjustment of the shoulder straps!"