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Joke of the Day

"What did the digital clock say to it's Mother? ""Look Ma, no hands!"""

"We can play Yahtzee again. -You fixed the broken dice? Yeah. And they'll never break again. -How do you know? *grins* Die mends are forever."

"A wife is like a hand grenade you take away the ring, and there goes your house"

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming."

"Women are like parking spaces... Sometimes all the good ones are taken so you need to put it in a disabled one."

"My girlfriend just told me to get rid of my boner... I couldn't because it's hard."

"Why did Walmart go out of business in Iraq? Because there are too many targets."

"How do you take a selfie with a goat?"

"Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is"

"My grief counselor died last week. Luckily, he was so good I didn't give a shit."