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Joke of the Day

"Next time you're swallowed by a whale, stand up through the blowhole like it's a sunroof on a limo. Throw your arms up. Have some fun!"

Next Joke
 
"What did the vet say about the maimed donkey? Wow, that ass sure took a pounding"
"What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume? Give him the sheet music."
"The best reason to divorce or break-up with a man is for health reasons you're sick of him."
"I'm not in favour of student loans. I think people should get their own student."
"Q:what do you catch when you go ice fishing A:a cold"
"[tv ad] Hey folks, this is Don Key! Come on down to Key's Automotive for.. uh- [camera still rolling] holy shit .. donkey. my name is donkey"
"A friend of mine died late last night I woke up in mourning."
"Thinking of getting a cat? Ease into it by sprinkling hair in your food for a couple of weeks."
"How do you stop a dog who's humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."