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Joke of the Day

"Made it to the level of old where I turned down a beer so it wouldn't mess with the aftertaste of the milkshake I just had."

"Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler walks into a bar He orders a beer"

"I've been married a long time, but I bet first dates are still the same. Lots of awkward arguments about Reaganomics."

"If you're a comedian named Luke and your 1st album isn't named Luke Who's Talking, I don't even know why you got into this game at all."

"Parents: don't give your child the answers to his homework. He needs to learn on his own that you don't know what you're talking about."

"Oops. Everyone brought their ""see you next year""s to work today and I only brought my throat slashing gesture."

"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator Only a fraction of you will get this"

"People laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian well nobody is laughing now"

"Did you hear about the guy who designed the monorail? He had a one track mind."

"According to my gym trainer, I need to cut back on drinking According to my bartender, I look great Moral of the story: I'm drunk"