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Joke of the Day

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a telephone. Doctor: Why's that? I keep getting calls in the night."

"Last night my wife asked me how many women I have slept with I answered just you honey. I was awake with the rest of them."

"Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman."

"I bought my girlfriend a new LOTR themed sex toy... ... It's called Dildo Shaggins"

"What do you call a Mexican that had his car stolen? Carloss"

"My friend just passed the bar exam. I need lawyer jokes. GO! What can a goose do that a duck can't do that a lawyer won't do? . . . Stick his bill up his ass."

"I like my women like I like my cod Battered"

"Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that's all you'll have to make your kids think you're cool."

"Here's a tip: When making sad face emoticons, use :( If you use ): that means your mouth fell off and a frisbee is lodged in your forehead"

"Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I Love My Grand-dog"" and I think l'm going to be ok."