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Joke of the Day

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a telephone. Doctor: Why's that? I keep getting calls in the night."

"Helen keller sets down a cheese grader and says... That was the most violent book i've ever read"

"Two plates go into a resteraunt One plate says to the other, "" Don't worry I'll pay for the meal."" The other plate replies, "" No dinner is on me."""

"Saw a guy steal a car using a hanger so I did what any normal person would do, walked up to him & asked ""You that guy from Grand Theft Auto?"

"Which doesn't belong: Meat, a Blow Job, Your Wife, An Egg A blowjob, because you can't beat a blowjob."

"When I was 6, Santa gave me coal for Christmas, so the next year I decided to get back at him and poison his cookies. Somehow, the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"My favorite Knock Knock Joke. ""Knock Knock"" ""who's there"" ""I got up"" ""I got up who?"" ""then the bathrooms over there"""

"[if Lois Lane was a witness] Criminal: *puts on glasses* Lois Lane: I'm sorry, I've never seen this man before."

"What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexia Association."

"What do you call a russian tree? Dimitree"