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Joke of the Day

"Allow me to translate: when NPR says ""hip hop culture,"" they're talking about black people."

"*snail Olympics* How does it feel? ""Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon"" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? ""What"""

"I can't sleep; so I went out & got 2 donuts, glued them to my eyes, climbed up a tree & pretended I'm an owl."

"Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song."

"What would Chrysler's version of the Ford Focus be called? Chrysler Concentrate"

"Tough break for cows. They're filled with delicious meat and covered in leather. How are we supposed to not kill them?"

"The shepherd woke up one afternoon... ""Oh no! I fell asleep! I hope nobody stole my sheep. Let's see 1, 2, *Zzzzzz*"""

"I have a very obedient dog, whenever I tell him 'Are you coming with me or not?', he is coming with me. Or not."

"My First reddit Joke: Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware store? Because he was looking for a tight seal!"

"I walked out of a club with a girl last night. She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my c*ck and said, ""Yours or mine?"" I said, ""That's mine."""