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Joke of the Day

"Never look down on anyone. Unless you're a lion cub named Simba and you're being held over a crowd of animals by a weird monkey doctor."

"""Will he ever wake up?"" He's been in a coma for 3 weeks but watch this. *starts playing Pitbull* *patient wakes up to turn off the music*"

"Out of order. How does a time traveler tell jokes?"

"How do you say goodbye in Arabic? ""BOOM!"""

"Is it weird that Nirvana's In Utero album cover turns me on? No wait, it isn't In Utero. It's...Nevermind"

"What will they call Bruce Jenner after the final sex-change operation? Sluice"

"I was going to go check out r/TwoX..... but it's just a bunch of pussies there"

"I went to the zoo but there was only one animal... it was a Shih Tzu."

"Learner driver: What happens when everything's coming your way? Instructor: You're in the wrong lane."

"Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out...... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile."