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Joke of the Day

"Based on the amount of animal hair, clinging to your t-shirt, I'm going to pass on your homemade cookies, thank you."

"Words to live by What doesn't kill you, isn't in Australia"

"What do mutiny and an orgasm have in common? A sudden surge of seamen."

"In his quest to gain more power, the mad scientist extended his hours at the lab. This is after he discovered that power is work overtime."

"""I'll sleep when I die"" - person who doesn't really understand sleeping or dying."

"Been experiencing bad diarrhea for 2 years and finally getting some medication I guess you can say I'm getting my shit together again."

"""'There is no 'I' in team!"" *Steve Jobs yells at his iTeam*"

"Why did Luke want to become a jedi so badly? He wanted to get Yoda off his back."

"A cow fell off a truck in Russia Apparently he hadn't been Put in properly."

"What has 5 balls and rapes the poor? The lottery."