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Joke of the Day

"My first job in retail taught me that the customer is always right. Until they're out of earshot."

"You wanna hot body? You wanna Bugatti? You wanna Maseratti? Then this is an intervention you NEED to stop listening to Britney Spears."

"*Michael Cera stubs his toe on a cotton ball*"

"Say what you want about pedophiles.. but at least they slow down at children's crossings."

"Everyone always says that chocolate is like crack, so one day I actually tried it to find out for myself. I still prefer crack."

"A Canadian walks into a bar A metal bar. BANG! ""Sorry!"" says the Canadian."

"They told me I had to move to Northern Canada. I said I want none of it."

"Maybe Gotye was an actual goat that sold it's soul for the chance to be a human with a hit song and now he is back to just being a goat"

"I think my ex girlfriend is obsessed with me... I just found a picture of us together in a bin outside her house!"

"Meanwhile back in class... Teacher : How much is a gram? Me: Depends on what you are looking for ... Teacher : GET OUT! NOW! Me: So, did you still need that, or naw?"