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Joke of the Day

"What do dads and grammar Nazis have in common? They're not there."

"Friend showed me all the pics taken from the drone he got for Christmas, so I won't be renting the cottage on their farm after all."

"I think I need to take a break. -me, as soon as I get to work."

"So i recently came over my ex... Hit her right in the eye! Sorry."

"I was waiting in line for soup at my favorite Vietnamese food truck... When this guy pushes in front to place his order. I'm like, ""Dude, pho queue."""

"Roses are red, violets blue, Open you're legs a few hours or two."

"I once saw a black man walking down the street carrying a TV And I thought to myself ""Hmm, that one looks a lot like mine!"" Then I remembered, mine was at home, shining my shoes. Silly me."

"""Oh, THANK GOD. I'm still a dog"" What dogs probably think when they wake up from one of their little nightmares"

"If at first you don't succeed, we have a lot in common."

"I have a job for you planting tulips.... ON DIS DICK!"