122011

Joke of the Day

"SPECIAL COLUMBUS DAY SALE: For $300 you can drive one of our vans into Canada and claim you discovered it."

"This Uber driver is the worst. I can't roll down the windows, he keeps asking questions, the doors won't open, and now his siren is blaring."

"When life gives you melons You might be a woman"

"What did Eric say to his classmates on the last day of school? ""Do you believe in God?"""

"Seriously, why put the suicide hotline on the backs of buses? Put it on the fronts."

"Show her how romantic you are by sprinkling body parts in a trail leading to the bed."

"Getting carried away is usually fun, unless it's by a truck."

"My Friendster account was hacked. Now I'm being extorted for all those testimonials I wrote. Said no one ever."

"I'm great at signalling for help on a sinking ship.. Just got a flare for it."

"I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house."