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Joke of the Day

"Green What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the Frog's finger"

"I could try taking matters into my own hands... But it just doesn't do it for me."

"How do men in New Zealand address their women? ""Hey! Ewe!"""

"He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory."

"What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tank? Men, get in the tank."

"Why can't you surf on microwaves? Because they're too small."

"Why does Santa Claus only have seven reindeer? Because Prancer moved in with a hairdresser in Beverly Hills."

"I got called 'fag' a lot as a kid Until the day I stood up for myself and punched my mom in the face."

"Kanye tryin to get a parrot to talk, says to him: Polly want a cracker? Parrot look at Kanye, say Nigger want a watermelon?"

"[Alligator feeding at the zoo] Me: Hey let me do it Keeper: 1st time? M: Heck no *alligator takes me by the arm* I WAS JUST BRAGGING SAVE ME"