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Joke of the Day

"Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER"

"Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution."

"Remember: Before you were Mommy's little darling you were Daddy's little squirt."

"How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? Why do you need electric light when you have a glass ceiling?"

"*Opens fortune cookie* ~You just ate cat, you thought was beef."

"So, saw a couple of transgenders dressed up as super-heroes.. May be Ex-Men"

"What do you call it when you get a blowjob from a woman with Zika? A little head"

"Pro-lifers Haven't they realised that you have to die to get to Heaven?"

"My neighbor upstairs bought a new treadmill and I accidentally just shot five holes in my ceiling."

"How do you comfort a grammar nazi? There, their, they're."