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Joke of the Day

"I went to sign up for tumblr today. I was really surprised that there wasn't a box where I had to check my privilege."

"Yo mama's so ugly Even her dildo went limp."

"As a baby I took my son Caden to the park. Other kids there were Aiden Jayden Brayden & Ben. The parents that named Ben should get an award."

"How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, ""Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?"" ""A lemon tree, my dear Watson."""

"If you lower your expectations, you can never be disappointed... Lower them too far, and you'll end up in line for the new iPhone."

"What does a submarine full of gay guys smell like? Sea Men"

"How many cockroaches does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know. When I turn on the light they're all gone."

"Boss: Dan why is your hand raised? Me: can I go to the bathroom? Boss: Dan you're 23. This is a business meeting Me: so that's a yes?"

"A study found that Buzzfeed is the least trusted news source in media. Serves them right for telling me I belong in Hufflepuff."

"I don't hate you, I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence."