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Joke of the Day
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: ""I told you so."""
Next Joke
"What do you call a diseased duck? A Mallardy."
"How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who knows, they never get the house."
"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Bird flu you get tweetment, swine flu you get oinkment."
"I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English"
"Why didn't the lesbian go to the bread festival? She already gets two times the normal amount of yeast."
"Are you afraid of the dark? Just sing the opening line to ""The Sound of Silence."" Darkness will feel like you're being clingy and leave the room."
"Why is a UTI such a bad thing? Because it means urine trouble"
"Awwww, so cute how Disney went from making brilliant animated movies to mass producing cleverly disguised teenage whores."
"What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ? Carpet !"