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Joke of the Day
"Get Married... Then you'll never have to make a simple decision alone again."
Next Joke
"A group of Jewish women are eating at a diner. Their waitress walks by and asks ""Is anything alright?"""
"[Possible GOT Spoilers] What's Rickon Stark's favourite band? One Direction"
"WTH? My neighbors say they don't like to spoon!? Even after I stopped sleeping in the nude. And introduced myself. Old people! Amirite?"
"Me: My blood pressure is sky high. I need to get my affairs in order. Him: Make a will? Me: I was thinking flings with hot men, but OK."
"Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that..."
"""It's payback time, bitches!"" - What I think every morning now that I wake my kids up."
"When I heard about Ferguson.. ...I assumed it related to Sir Alex Ferguson"
"Today I have been sober for 100 days. Not, like, in a row or anything. Just in total."
"Why does Harrison Ford run from Wesley Snipes? Because he's the Blade Runner."