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Joke of the Day
"""It's payback time, bitches!"" - What I think every morning now that I wake my kids up."
Next Joke
"You see me driving 'round town with your Alzheimer's mom and she's like, forget you."
"Sisters are like fat thighs They stick together."
"Last night my black colleague....... Last night my black colleague walked away with the 'Employee of the year' award. Luckily security stopped him at the door."
"What's the difference... between a gazpacho bean and a chickpea? I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face."
"I dont care what god damned color forest it came from just give me the god damn ham"
"Banana vs Vibrator"
"Movie pitch: There's this guy named Craig that makes a list of Jews he can save from Naz... what?"
"Why would I want to quit smoking? Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer?"
"*takes construction hat to vet* Please help. My turtle hasn't moved in 8 years."