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Joke of the Day

"The first guy that paid for life insurance died never knowing if it was a scam."

"Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house? His life was at stake. Badum psh."

"Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten gagged whipped and tortured. Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law."

"What's the difference between a white guy and a pizza? A pizza doesn't shoot up a school."

"Life starts with everyone cheering when you poop and goes drastically down hill from there."

"Why did the fork go to the party? It wanted to have a good tine."

"My nieces just asked me if God is real. I'm tired so I'm just going to show them ""The Exorcist."" This babysitting stuff is a breeze!"

"What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday? I don't know he hasn't opened it yet."

"Y'know the trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music does."

"Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection. A fake name and a fake number."