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Joke of the Day

"It only takes 3 inches to please a woman And it doesn't matter if it's visa or MasterCard"

"dates 1-4: let me tell u about my extremely normal hobbies and interests date 5: i don't think the moon is real"

"Fisherman got jokes... A little fish humor for everyone. ""Did you do that on Porpoise? Or just for the Halibut?"" ""Oh my Cod, save my Sole!"" ""You sucker, that smelt, so get your bass out of here!"""

"What's white and drips from the cloud? The coming of the Lord."

"What is the difference between a Siberian husky and an Alaskan husky? About 1500 miles."

"Could you play us a song? Cat Stevens: Maybe. *Sets guitar on table* Cat Stevens: *Maintains eye contact-slowly pushes guitar off table*"

"How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? No one knows. When the light turns on they scatter."

"Your girl's legs are like McDonalds breakfast....... OPEN 24/7 EDIT: Replaced pants with legs"

"My girlfriend might not appriciate this. Me: I've got something to tell you. Gf: Don't say that makes me anxious. Me: I've got a date. Gf: ??? Me: http://imgur.com/GeYB7xY Still to hear back from her."

"What did the IRS agent say to the financially backward store owner? ""Ehh it's easier If I just write it off as tax evasion"""