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Joke of the Day

"I think I might be depressed... But I'm just taking a shot in the dark."

"I got myself into this mess, and I can get myself further into this mess."

"Do you know the difference between a birthday cake and giving a blowjob? No? Well, happy birthday!"

"most ppl write it like ""haha"", but if i were to write my laugh phonetically it would be ""boop boop boopityboopleboop"" i laugh weird boopboop"

"What's the difference between a Ford and a tampon? The tampon comes with a tow rope."

"I *SWEAR* I'm not addicted to brake fluid... I can stop whenever I want"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a thief? Nothing."

"Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms? Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen."

"I'd like to have a child one day. Two days, tops."