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Joke of the Day

"Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey."

"If you ever want to be bummed all day, think about how Jordan's national carrier is called ""Royal Jordanian Airways"" instead of ""Air Jordan"""

"30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion"

"#GrandTheftAutoMemories banging a hooker in my car, shooting her to get my money back, then going home to play Grand Theft Auto."

"What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out? The dishes if she knows what's good for her!"

"Professor Snape caught Harry in the hall after dark and out of NOWHERE Lupin pops out in the hallway to save him. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT"

"What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."

"Let's take a moment and remember the tragedy the Norwegians have suffered... they will never get to see Amy Winehouse live."

"Why didn't ken and barbie ever have kids? Because ken always comes in a different box."

"I wish dreams were like Chatroulette and you could just click ""Next"" when you see a guy in a Mickey Mouse costume jerking off."