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Joke of the Day

"I'm staying at a hotel w/ a 'hotel dog' that guests can walk & pet. Which is 1. adorable and 2. proof that the gov't can access my dreams."

"I'll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters."

"I got kicked out of a massage parlor the other day. Apparently the prostate isn't considered ""deep tissue."""

"I used to think an ocean of soda existed. Turns out it was just Fanta sea."

"While browsing my local sex shop I ended up meeting the love of my life... She even came with batteries too!"

"Michael Jackson would be 54 today if he hadn't hired such a gifted nap specialist."

"Hmm. Every fortune cookie I've opened in the past six months says ""you will die screaming."" Weird."

"What do they call a list of athletes in Jamaica? A rasta."

"What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet! =D"

"The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull..."