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Joke of the Day

"You hang Up. ""No you hang Up."" No YOU hang Up. ""No YOU hang Up."" - couple fighting while hanging Pixar movie posters"

"Two Irish schoolboys... 1: Hey, Pat! What's the craic? 2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really? I thought you were only 15? 2: I am! 1: So what was it? Guiness? 2: No, it was water."

"Woman from Q [NSFW] There was once a woman from Q. She filled her vagina with glue. she said with a grin, if you paid to get it in, you'll pay to get it out too."

" What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear? Data transfer. "

"If you're paddling a canoe up a river and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones."

"someone asked : are you coming? me: No, but I'm breathing fast... them: me: them: me: I guess I'll save that one for Twitter"

"I made a shirt out of pushpins... ...because I wanted to look sharp. But everyone said it was just tacky."

"What are you if you hide eggs at nice places eggspert."

"What is the best thing about duct tape? It turns no no no into mm mm mmmm."

"How do Italian Chefs swap recipes? By Spaghett-e-mail!"