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Joke of the Day

" Dad, what does indifference and incompetence mean? Actually, I don't know, son. And I don't give a shit."

"Hey pregnant ladies, all of your 3D ultrasounds look like Voldemort in a garbage bag."

"Somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering, ""Why oh why does nobody reply to my emails?"""

"Realized woman behind me at self-checkout line was from DMV. Made her wait 4 hours for her turn. Revenge is sweet."

"What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off? Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling."

"So a bar walks into a physicist... Shoot; wrong frame of reference..."

"Teacher: did your father help you with your homework? Student: no he did it all by himself"

"How do you recycle a condom? NSFW Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."

"Just one more week until I can finally eat candy out of my socks again.... without looking weird."

"The reason there's no Windows 9 is because... 7 8 9."