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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes. I asked her, ""What can I do to stop my addiction?"" She said, ""Whatever means necessary."" ""No it doesn't,"" I said."

Next Joke
 
"What if animals were injured in the making of a film. would it say ''Tim hurt one monkey... he feels bad."""
"Three logicians walk into a bar The bartender asks: ""Do you all want a drink?"" The first logician says: ""I don't know."" The second logician says: ""I don't know."" The third logician says: ""Yes."""
"I just hope I love my child enough to stab a referee that made a bad call against him in a little league game."
"What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover? I want hue."
"Where does the Internet football team play? Webley."
"An interesting twist on a classic. (x-post /r4chan) http://i.imgur.com/UvBlxDK.png"
"My friend asked me... My friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library I said wtf man it's 2016 you can use whatever printer you want"
"Garbage day. When you find out which neighbors are drunks by how many bottles they throw out holy shit this one still has something in it."
"What is black on the bottom and white on top? Society."