198846

Joke of the Day

"Don't say you love me unless you have bought me a miniature donkey. Without the donkey, they are just empty, meaningless words."

"Have you ever accidentally ended a business call with ""I love you?"" Oh yeah me neither."

"I shake my head at people's stupidity so often that no one will even notice if I get Parkinson's."

"What's the number one cause of dry skin? Towels."

"BEST JOKE EVER Just a corny joke I though off. Hope it brings a smile to your day (: Why was Justin Biber in Frozen? Cuz aparently he likes ""snow""."

"""It's a boy!"" I shouted, as I ran from the Thai brothel."

"((speaking too close to the microphone at press conference)I have never watched a single episode of the Teletubbies. They look like fools"

"How many people does it take to screw in a light? Two, but I don't know how they'll fit inside the bulb"

"Everyone's like ""the things I want for Christmas can't be bought."" And I'm like ""Legos. I want legos."""

"I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says ""Text Me"""