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Joke of the Day

"For english press ONE. Para espanol el primo numero DOS. If you like totes can't even right now, obvs press THREE."

"""Hi, I'd like a Junior McChicken and a cheeseburger please."" ""$3.23."" ""Oh, and a bottle of water."" ""$87.54. Please drive thru."""

"Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties? Because there's lots of school spirit!"

"Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified! Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars."

"What do Trump and his supporters NOT have in common? His supporters have a blind trust."

"The worst thing about turning up at the ER drunk at 4am is explaining to the nurse that my 9 year old drove here."

"How do programmers like their snacks? Byte-sized."

"Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ? Because it had a hole in the middle."

"Wanna hear a joke? The broncos"

"My math paper had a question involving finding the expectation of a die roll. It took me a moment to figure out what it means"