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Joke of the Day

"For english press ONE. Para espanol el primo numero DOS. If you like totes can't even right now, obvs press THREE."

"I love jokes about South Africans... who doesn't like making fun of a bunch of murderers, rapists and thieves."

"Tried to make a joke in my math class and no one laughed. I think they were 2/10's."

"Why did the Priest go to Walmart? Because the little boys pants were half off."

"Every morning I run around the block 5 times... ...Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep"

"I was the kid your mom made you invite to your birthday party who then started crying and had to be picked up early."

"Made a pizza today with Indian bread It was like Naan other"

"Two people are in a fight. Guy 1: ""Well, your sister blew me, and it only cost two dollars!"" Guy 2: ""So she's only charging a dollar an inch these days?"""

"So I was at a party, All the refreshments are lined up on a table; We're still waiting on the *punchline*."

"What is it called when a reptile loses its tail? Ereptile Dysfunction"