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Joke of the Day

"If i could have any super power, i'd pick the ability to lure kids into my truck without giving them candy i spent my hard earned money on."

"There are two secrets to success 1. Never tell anyone all of your secrets 2."

"What do you call a man with no hands and a book? A read-only man."

"Kylie Jenner's nipple goes viral She should probably see a doctor"

"2 guys walk into a gay bar... and the bartender asks one of them, ""Why the long face?"" The guy answers, ""My eyes are up here."""

"If those Amazon drones can really get to your house in 30 minutes then condoms are about to become their #1 selling item."

"Imagine if every Sunday all your friends decided to only speak in a foreign language. That's how I feel during football season."

"After months of trying to find a job... ...my mate has recently found work in making chess pieces. He starts next week on nights."

"I'm pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!"

"So..I just broke up with Jim. We were just not working out."