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Joke of the Day

"If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?"

"Why are men are like public toilets? The good ones are taken, the rest are full of shit."

"[First person to ride a horse] 'I'm going to sit on that thing and I don't care how angry it gets.'"

"I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey."

"A lesbian friend of mine corrected a misconception that I had.... I had told her that I assumed the majority of lesbians engaged in Fisting. Turns out, it's only a handful..."

"A bank is a place that will lend you money... if you can prove that you don't need it."

"What's a peasant's favorite sport? Serfing."

"""exorcise"" and ""exercise"" sound alike because they're both the work of the Devil"

"A Roman walks into a bar... ... holds up two fingers, and says ""Five beers please!"""

"Oh your baby's name is Walter? Is he close to retirement?"