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Joke of the Day

"A bank is a place that will lend you money... if you can prove that you don't need it."

"To test my kid's readiness for a pet I had her clean up poop in the yard all week and now I can't go back to using the toilet."

"How do athletes send e-mails? On the Inter-sweat."

"When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date."

"Dog pissed about wearing cone after surgery. Dog spends night banging cone against walls, keeping human awake. Dog-1 Human-0"

"Damn my stomach is making really weird noises...I'm gonna go ahead and send a donut down there to check things out."

"I like to go on job interviews wearing an eye patch and switch eyes when the interviewer looks down."

"What did the white man do at the club? Pout while all the colored folk were bumpin and grinding with all the fine white bitches"

"My girlfriend calls me Duracell Because I last up to 10 times longer"

"Blessed are those who are cracked, for they are the ones who let in the light!"