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Joke of the Day

"How do you know you are sitting next to a ski instructor? They'll tell you."

"Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, ""Bach, Bach, Bach"""

"How many of you guys experienced this? Damn! I don't have spare keys either."

"If someone peed on me during sex, I'd be like, ""Ha! I've read about this!"""

"Just turned off porch light and saw a moth take off flying towards the moon. Good luck buddy, if you make it back, sell the story to Pixar."

"According to a dating app, Amazon employees are more desirable than employees at other tech companies. Plus, if you sleep with one, they will recommend someone else you might also like."

"Why do giraffes have such long necks? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."

"Bumped into a friend of mine the other day. He was wearing camouflage."

"Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast? Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

"[First date] Him: Can you pass the- SOMETIMES WHEN I SLEEP ON MY STOMACH MY CAT LIES ON MY BACK LIKE A TINY SURFER"