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Joke of the Day

"If someone peed on me during sex, I'd be like, ""Ha! I've read about this!"""

"I'd tell you a joke about UDP.... But, I wouldn't know if you'd get it."

"What's the difference between an Iraqi middle school and a terrorist training camp? Fuck if I know, I just fly the drone."

"what is a short, yet a long password? 1 to 8"

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? I left the tip on the night stand."

"*phone rings* Wife: ""Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me (a dad): ""Hello. Yes my wife is here. Hey, Not In. It's for you."" Wife: ""...."""

"""I see"" said the blind man pissing into the wind... ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way."

"I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That's it. No more reading!"

"Decades of video games have left me WAY too confident in my ability to break open a wooden crate."