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Joke of the Day

"Some asshole stole my mood ring. I'm not really sure how I feel about it."

"My friend recently arrived in Turkey for his annual holiday. He is doing bird."

"Helen Keller walks in to a bar.... Then a table... Then a chair"

"My manager at the millinery has a really short temper I mean he gets really angry at the drop of a hat!"

"The inventor of distorted mirrors has died. His funeral with be held in asymmetry."

"I was talking to my science class... ...about Astronomical Units (Au). Our conversation was gold."

"Ok, I'm finally off dairy. Next is sugar, then heroin."

"Why won't Microsoft hire any maids? Because they don't do Windows"

"I rescued a seagull, taught it karate and named it Steven, so what?"

"The John Deere manure spreader It's the only product the company won't stand behind"