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Joke of the Day

"Lazlo's Chinese relativity axiom No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats-approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less,"

"[first date] HER: So do you prefer cats or dogs? ME: *scanning the menu* I don't even see them on here. What page are you on?"

"Why can't two Asian parents have a Caucasian baby? Two Wongs don't make a white"

"Donald Trump. ...That is the joke."

"Why do old men prefer golf more than sex? The fewer the strokes the better you are at it ;)"

"I'm told I sleep like a baby. ... I wake up crying every few hours"

"What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs? Methed up"

"How is a 9 Volt Battery similar to an Anus? You know you shouldn't, but eventually you're gunna lick it."

"I find gay sex disgusting, with all that penetration and stuff That is why I just ask guys to come on my face"

"Life is full of people you can't have and people you don't want."