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Joke of the Day

"I was in the mood for nuts this morning so I chased a squirrel for 3 miles and the little prick led me right to his stash, yum!"

"What did the manager say to the comedian who was messing around? Hey, no more funny business!"

"Mum does God use the bathroom? No what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning 'Oh God are you still in there?'"

"Why I'm leaving /r/jokes I have to go to work. I'll be back later."

"Men statistically have larger brains than women, which is why men are usually smarter and elephants rule us all from their laser-hovercraft"

"NSFW, What did Hitler say to the black Jew? GET TO THE BACK OF THE OVEN!"

"Who is Patrick Swayze's favorite author? Wodehouse!"

"Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because ""The Sum of All Fears"" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography."

"If Donald Trump becomes the President of the United States of America... ...there will be hell toupee!"

"How does a baritone make phone calls? Song distance!"