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Joke of the Day

"Men statistically have larger brains than women, which is why men are usually smarter and elephants rule us all from their laser-hovercraft"

"Someone just posted an article on Facebook and said ""file this under sad."" WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE FILING EVERYTHING"

"I had a beautiful pearl of wisdom to tweet but I dropped it on the ground and one of my dogs ate it. I should have it back in 12 hours or so"

"What do we want? A cure for Tourette's! When do we want it? Cunt!"

"Why did the rich man go crazy? He had one-million dollars, but no cents."

"A developer tried to pull weeds out of his garden... ...but he didn't have root access."

"I remember hearing about this actor that lost all of his money and was locked up after a huge scandal... I'm pretty sure it was Nicolas Cage."

"I misspelled armageddon the other day... But I guess it's not the end of the world"

"That grizzly killed the man with its bear hands"

"What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ? A petticoat !"