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Joke of the Day

"Sure I'll eat square slices of pizza, but I'm thinking of triangular ones the whole time."

"What's the difference between a piano,tuna and glue. You can tune a piano. You cant piano a tuna."

"I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"A quick way to get your kids to leave you alone is to say, ""I need to make your dentist appointment."""

"I don't get the term ""Pansexual"" I mean, I like bread as much as the next guy, but c'mon!"

"A Jewish boy ask to borrow a $20 from his father. His father replies, ""$10?!?! What on earth do you need $5 for!"

"I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said ""You're pulling my leg"""

"I just crashed a massive party... ...bus. Luckily there were no major injuries"

"Q: What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend? A: His smellular phone!"

"WHY DID THE PRISONER TYPE IN ALL UPPERCASE? THEY WERE SENTENCED TO CAPITAL PUNISHMENT."